Many of us have to deal with having an inner critic – a voice inside our heads that tells us negative, hurtful messages and is incredibly cruel. This inner critic can have a strong, apparent presence, speaking to us loudly and telling us that we’re not good enough. The voice that we hear from our inner critic includes negative messages about our self-worth such as we’re not worth it, or we’re not pretty, skinny, or smart enough.
Our inner critic can also behave in subtle ways, quietly telling us not to deal with certain things, or not to allow our voices to be heard, with the underlying message that we’re not really worth it. This kind of voice, because it’s very quiet, can be hard to detect.
This inner critic is a voice that many of us have, and it is tied to events that may have happened in our childhood. Maybe we’ve had a shaming parent, or maybe we encountered difficulty in school; whatever the case may have been, the negative messages from our childhood get internalized by us and so are turned on inside of ourselves. As a result of our inner critics, many of us are harder on ourselves than we have to be and harder on ourselves than we are on other people.
Not only does our inner critic cause us to be unnecessarily harsh on ourselves, but it also can be projected onto people surrounding us. This is because the weight of having negative messages in our heads that tell us we’re not worth it, or we’re not good enough, can prove to be too difficult to bear. When this happens, we turn to people around us and think that they’re not good enough either, or we’ll judge them according to their appearance – what they look like, what they’re wearing. Our inner critic projects onto others and makes judgments about them that will make us feel better about ourselves, even if it’s just for a moment and even if it means having to put others down.
To understand more about concepts like our inner critic and learn how to deal with other issues in therapeutic and curative ways, be sure to keep up with Dr. Costine’s websites and videos.