By Dr. Lauren
Start With Yourself First
The tendency by the Patriarchal Culture to fear and repress that which is associated with The Feminine, such as feelings, empathy, and compassion, has created a society that blindly uses its people, philosophies, and the earth itself solely for its own needs.
A world that is taught to repress its emotions teaches us how to get stuck in them, which happens when feelings are not honored. While it is hard to embrace uncomfortable feelings and let them wash through you so they can move on, it is essential to the healing process.
Instead, Western culture advocates denial and willful ignorance of these feelings, which stunts our growth. When a culture represses its connection to the feminine and feeling nature, its citizens are also taught how to disconnect from their ability to experience empathy and compassion for others — an essential trait if we are to relate to all living things as an interconnected part of ourselves rather then by viewing them as “the other”, or worse, as inhuman.
Viewing other humans as valuable as oneself takes courage and a strong sense of self. The Western mind is programmed to judge and judge harshly. We have been taught that it is not useful to hold a compassionate view for those who view the world differently than we do.
Our impulse is to push away humanness of “the other” so that we can project our anger, hurt, and fear onto them and feel no guilt. It is much easier to be selfish if you distance yourself from the needs of others. This happens across the political continuum – both sides are guilty.
We witness this in intimate relationships as well, as one of the biggest causes of conflict occurs when two people have differing needs and finding a compromise proves difficult. On a collective level, it can be catastrophic and creates the chaos we are witnessing now.
When It Is Hysterical, It Is Historical
A tool that can be helpful during this challenging and scary time is to go deep – find out what parts of your own story are currently being triggered. This exercise helped ground me and regain my resilience. When I realized that one of my biggest triggers is because I don’t feel seen, understood, or cared about (a core trauma from my childhood), I am comforted by the fact that this is who I am.
When I am triggered by people or events, I become empowered again as soon as I find the root cause as I am no longer ruled by my history. It does remove what is going on currently from my life, but it does remove the added layer of my trauma. With this in mind, I have more access to my intuition, which always guides me in the right direction towards strength and psychological wholeness.
Take a few moments to go within. Find the place that works for you – it could be your meditation mat, a walk, nature, and the shower. First, take at least 3 deep breaths down into your diaphragm. Connect to your heart center and rest there so you can access self-love. Then, ask your intuitive self to tell you what part of your history has been activated by the election. Wait and trust the voice that arises. It might say something such as, “With the newly forming administration, I feel like I don’t matter and I remember having a hard time feeling like I mattered when I was a child.”
Take this time to remind this part of yourself that you do matter – no matter what certain parents, siblings, peers or politicians say. Give this part of yourself the empathy and compassion that it deserves. If you struggle to give this to yourself, then ask a trusted person in your life to give it to you. Then, take some sort of action, whether it be to become involved in an organization that you believe in, to donate, or to call your local and state representatives. This a true integration of feminine and masculine energies –healing work followed by an action item. See how it works for you.